Friday, July 24, 2015

Struggles of an Empath



So I’m just going to go out on a limb and assume I am not the only person this happens to – You know that feeling you get when you’re doing something super amazing and exciting, usually a vacation or some type of holiday. And everything in you is screaming “Enjoy every moment of this!” except for that one little thought that creeps up from the depths and the back of your subconscious that pipes up in a small, barely audible voice and says “Your good time is almost over.... then you have to go home. And you know what is waiting for you there? Depression”

This little voice is an asshole. And I’m not talking full blown depression, not the really serious - struggle with it on the daily – depression, the post vacation/holiday/thing you were looking REALLY forward to depression. That feeling of complete and utter “Now what?” sadness. 

This little voice immediately sucks the fun out of whatever moment it occurred in. Have you guys seen Inside out yet? You know when Sadness touches the happy memories and they suddenly turn blue? THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS. I actually relate a TON to that movie, who doesn’t? 

I’m not saying it flat out ruins what I’m doing but it definitely casts a cloud over the remainder of whatever I’m doing.  I know I’m not the only person this happens to. 

I really like to think of myself as an optimist most of the time. I’ve carefully trained my brain to respond to most situations in a “It could be worse,” or “Hey, ____ this is happening because of this crummy thing that happened!” type of manner. And it has become an amazing survival skill. Don’t get me wrong, my old pessimistic side rears its ugly head every once in a while, it’s that asshole with the tiny voice. 

There are days when yes, I want to just sit and wallow and indulge myself in some selfish behavior. If I’m being completely honest though, it’s not even days. It’s hours. If all my hours of therapy taught me one thing it was honoring your feelings and indulging yourself, and not feeling guilty about it. And amazingly when I make an active effort to take stock of how I’m feeling, those sad feelings dissipate way quicker than my old method of bottling them up. And those days of feeling sad, turn into a half an hour of just hiding in the basement with my dog and just crying it out. Then I feel better.  No not 100% better, things will never be 100% better.  There will always be that piece of sadness I carry with my absolutely everywhere I go.  But along with that sadness is also a million reasons to smile and be happy and grateful. 

I 100% believe happiness is a choice you make some days. It’s really easy to take the easy way out and blame the world for your struggles. Maybe it’s the stubborn in me (there’s a lot of stubborn in me) or maybe it’s because I am my father’s daughter – but instead of taking the easy way out, instead of telling yourself you can’t. Why not prove everyone wrong and show the world you can? Why not take an opportunity where the world expects you to fall down, and get back up?

Here’s the thing. People tune out the wallowing. I personally loathe sympathy-seekers. And pity? I want nothing to do with it. The constant complainers and attention seekers are the first ones to get hidden on Facebook. Pity seeking is a black hole, it sucks you and everyone around you into it. Pity does no one any good.  Listen, I’m not talking about empathy – that is a whole different ball game.  I am a major supporter of empathetic people, because I am one.  People’s moods and feelings greatly affect me. If you’re having a crummy bummed out day, you had better believe that after we spend an hour together my mood will mirror yours. If you’re super excited and pumped about something, give it a few minutes and I will be too. 

Well as per usual I hopped on here to talk about this weird funky mood I’ve had for the past couple days/weeks. And have fallen down the rabbit hole, changed topics completely then climbed back out the rabbit hole. And guess what? I feel better. I'm not going to go back and read it, so sorry if it makes no sense. Welcome to my brain.

This is really cheap therapy. 

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