Let's get real. I don't go to bars - and when I do my resting bitch face and just general prickly demeanor more or less ensures that men keep their distance from me. Well aside from the cocky asshats but we're not talking about them. Anyways that nixes that option.
And whenever I ask the "hey have any decent guy friends?" Question to friends or friends' SOs I'm usually get the "they're all married/idiots/not good enough for you" type answers. NOT HELPFUL GUYS.
So online dating it is. I'll admit. I've gotten lucky in the past. Lucky as in my ex - although he's now my ex was a pretty great guy and I'm certainly very happy he came into my life when he did. He was a fluke.
Cause there is a lot of bad, for every not so bad first date there have been at least two awful dates.
Now I'm writing this from my perspective I know it isn't easy for men but I feel like MOST of them need help. If not all of them. So here are my tips that every man should follow.
- Have a woman you trust choose your profile pictures for you. No bathroom selfies or shirtless pictures. Women know what pictures are flattering to you but still realistic.
- Do not post a picture of you with another woman. Ever. Seriously. It doesn't matter if I even like you a smidgen. The first thing I think is "who is this bitch?" Even if it clearly says its your sister. Don't do it
- Don't post pictures of yourself with the same group of guys every time. Don't make me guess which one you are.
- I want pictures of your smiling face. Where I can actually see your face.
- I don't care what you drive, I only care THAT you drive (usually)
- Be honest - don't embellish your height or body type or whatever. THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT EVENTUALLY.
- fill out your profile. I'm not looking for a novel (unless it's hilarious and well written) but I am looking at your basic spelling, and what you're interested in. "Just ask" is irritating. NO JUST EFFING TELL ME. Also don't write "will fill this out later" we both know you're lying.
- When it comes to messaging I will 85% of the time respond to a well crafted message from a guy who clearly read my profile. Or if you ask me an intriguing question. Rarely do I reply to messages such as but not limited to: "sexy", "hi", "nice tats", "wow", etc.
- Further to that point starting a message with anything similar to "you probably won't respond" or "I always strike out on this site" etc. - is not attractive. Confidence is key.
- Also if a girl doesn't reply you really don't need to send her a message telling her "guess you're not interested" you're right. We're not, and now you just sound like a two year old having a temper tantrum. Just move on. ON TO THE NEXT.
Seriously online dating is like shopping in the bargain bin at Walmart - You have to dig through mountains of garbage just in hopes you'll find something decent.
Yeah it may seem hopeless or awful or depressing but it's dating condensed. It's going out on a limb a LOT. And getting rejected a lot. Online dating is what would happen at the bar if all the guys who wanted to talk to you did.
Thank GOD for resting bitch face.
