"You can't be your best self until you find your tribe. I'm still looking for mine"
- Lily Rabe as Misty Day
I've been talking about this a lot lately with several different people, so I have a feeling it's a pretty universal struggle. Lately as I've really amped up my quest for self-improvement or self-enlightenment or whatever the flip you want to call it, I've become really aware of the importance of "finding your tribe"
Now let me define my use of "tribe" here for you, so we're all on the same page.
Tribe: A group of people who loves and supports you and your dreams, and will do anything in their power to help you achieve said dreams.
I am a firm believer that the people you surround yourself with greatly impact your life and daily well being. I think everyone knows what its like to have a friend/coworker/acquaintance who is just constantly negative. I know for me personally being around constant negativity is just a recipe for disaster because it takes almost no time at all and suddenly I'm feeling glum and negative for LEGITIMATELY no reason. Granted I've gotten a bit better throughout the years of limiting my exposure to these kind of people for prolonged periods of time.
When you surround yourself with people who you can openly and passionately discuss anything with - whether its anything from your hopes and dreams, to that really great episode of Toddlers and Tiaras you watched yesterday - and it's met with excitement and just a straight up supportive and open heart. It's amazing what can come from that.
I grew up as a teenager feeling very alone and like a misfit. I retreated into black baggy clothes and "punk" rock - and found myself just despising all the bright and shiny kids at school. Now looking back in reality - things weren't as they seemed. I had amazingly supportive parents (even though that was back when I would butt heads with my Dad on a pretty regular basis - he just didn't UNDERSTAND ME... I hope you can hear how hard I'm rolling my eyes here. In hindsight I was just being dramatic - which is something that is unlikely to change from my personality). But what I truly lacked in this stage of my life was a really close knit group of friends.
Sure I had friends and I'm still close with a few of them now. Honestly though they were school friends, and the majority of them were out of necessity. The "I need a friend in this class otherwise the semester/year will be awful" type of friendship, with no real substance to it aside from in class chit chat.
I think it's funny because the majority of men I know have had the same best friends since they can remember. Cradle to the grave, from birth to earth, etc. I truly believe that women are not like this. I personally am constantly adjusting my group of friends. Distancing myself from those who are unsupportive, or who don't believe in me and my dreams. And feeding the relationships that enrich my life on such a deep level.
There's a poem I found once - heck let me insert it here for you
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed or just felt. They have come to assist you through a hard time, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. Then, suddenly, the person disappears from your life. Your need has been met; their work is done.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share or grow or give back. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They give you great joy. Believe it; it is real. But only for a season.
Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons—things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all your other relationships.
Think about the people in your life over the years. Whether they were there for a reason, a season or a lifetime, accept them and treasure them for however long they were meant to be part of your life.
And when they are gone, be thankful for the gifts you received from them when they were here—for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
I've done my best to try to keep this in my mind as I've had to either let go of people, or just accept that a friendship had run its course.
I'm very grateful for all the people who have come through my life at one point or another because every single one of them has helped shape me into the person I am today.
I'm getting a little off of my point which is par for the course.
I like to call my tribe my "Coven" mostly because I think it's funny and fitting for me as a person. My tribe is full of people who I hold near and dear to my heart. They know who they are, the people I can confide in, the ones who are unwaveringly supportive, who will smile and tell me I'm crazy but follow that with "whatever makes you happy", non-judgmental in all the ways that count (unless I eat a whole pie in one sitting - then I'm judging myself too).
My tribe is full of people who come from different locations and backgrounds, they don't all know each other, and come from many different compartments of my life.
I can really only hope for everyone reading this that you have found your tribe, or that you are actively seeking it - because let me tell you, there is nothing quite like the feeling of when a very special group of feeling has your back.
This one goes out to my tribe.
To all members past, present, and future.
Without each and every single one of you who knows where I would be right now.
