Hey guys,
So as a person who has been active in the horse world for
the past sixteen years, there’s something that has always made me laugh. Well
made me laugh and also semi-annoyed me. It all starts with a well-intentioned
non-horse-person.
“Oh ___[insert random person you don’t know at all]___ is
coming to ___[insert some sort of gathering]___. You guys can talk horses.”
This statement is always meant to bring two people together
with the power of a shared interest. However in my personal experience that
once you get past a certain age (let’s say about 14) and actually get into the
world of horses this isn’t something that is easily done.
Back in the day - I’m
about to drop a rather embarrassing personal anecdote on you guys – when I
first ventured out onto the world wide web, back in the days of dial-up and a
one hour time limit on the internet (all it took was a month of free-rein and
an astronomical phone bill to have my fledgling wings clipped) I spent most of
my time on the internet on the TY message boards. Yep, TY as in Beanie Babies –
those things you had hundreds of because they were going to be worth a fortune
one day, the same ones you gave to the less-fortunate 8 years later except for
the ones that had sentimental value – Keep in mind this was circa 1999/2000 so
I was in Grade 6. The TY message boards were the perfect dip into the shallow
end of the internet if you will.
It was on those said message boards that I met a young girl
about my age (in hindsight I was very lucky that she turned out to be exactly
who she said she was) who was also into horses. Her and I bonded and chatted
almost every day on these boards. Due to the nature of the message boards and
their extreme moderation we were unable to exchange e-mails and lost touch once
the world of Beanie Babies lost it’s appeal, and a person can only take so much
Comic Sans in their life. Well maybe almost a year later (maybe less, who
really knows) I managed to stumble across her horse RPG website (judge me all
you want I was a 12 year old introvert who had no clue what an introvert was)
and we reconnected. Fast forward to today when 15 years later we live about 20
minutes away from each other (a major difference from when she lived in
Oklaholma and I lived in Alberta) and are still close.
Anyways the point of that story is that the whole “bonding
over horses” is really easy to do when you’re young and really just love horses
of any shape or size.
As you get older it gets harder, what many people don’t
realize is that saying you’re into horses is like saying you’re into sports.
That could mean anything. There are so many different sports within the
umbrella topic of “horses”. For some reason it is really complicated for people
to understand. Being a horse owner must mean that I jump right? No? Oh then you
are into rodeo? No? That horse dancing thing?
You mean Dressage? Yeah close enough.
As someone who shows on the Arabian horse circuit, if you
don’t run into someone who knows the breed or the circuit, you’re better off
just being vague. More often then not when you try and explain something such
as “Hunter Pleasure” to a NHP as I will now refer to them, eventually this is
said “So you basically just ride your horse in a bunch of circles,”
At that point I do my best to refrain from punching the
person in the nose, I didn’t sit here making fun of your sport did I? And just
answer with a clipped “Pretty much,” and then spend the rest of the encounter
being annoyed. Most people don’t understand how frustrating this is, and I do my
best to be fairly understanding, if it is a person who I genuinely like and
seems genuinely interested I will go into detail and explain, usually along
with pictures and video even.
One of the worst dates in my life I’ve ever been on, I got
into an argument with the guy because he thought it was stupid that I wouldn’t
take my horses out on trail rides, even though I detest trail rides and don’t
find them relaxing or fun.
I’ve clearly gone off topic and gotten on a tangent, and now
I’m pissed off thinking about that horrible date and what an asshole that guy
was. Pro dating tip: Try not insulting each other’s passions on the first date.
In fact don’t do this ever.
Back to the topic at hand – here-in lies the problem with
the whole you can talk horses conversation.
Person #1 – “Oh so you ride? That’s cool I do Hunter/Jumper,”
Person #2 – “That sounds like fun, I show Arabians” (let me
point out that that’s a lie, I do not think Hunter/Jumper sounds like fun, I
think that sounds terrifying. The only time I want all four of my horse’s feet
off the ground are during the canter. I’ll leave the jumping to the people who
enjoy it, and until then I will just watch – and laugh silently to myself when
your horse refuses and you go flying – this is horrible to admit but it’s the
truth and this is my blog so I do what I want)
P#1 – “Nice,”
--- END OF CONVERSATION ---
On occasion one person might be feeling a little bit
generous and this might be an alternate ending:
P#1 – “Nice, a friend of mine owns an arab” (Friend being interchangeable
with: Family member, person at my barn, this lady I once met in a Starbucks –
who wouldn’t shut up once she noticed I was wearing jods)
P#2 – “Oh, that’s cool”
--- END OF CONVERSATION ---
Maybe it’s just me and it’s because I genuinely hate small
talk, and meeting new people. But I’m just going to go out on a limb and say
that THIS IS NOT FUN. This is no one’s idea of fun. Unless you magically wind
up talking to someone who does the same thing as you, you will likely have zero
to talk about. And if you are in the same discipline in the same breed then
odds are you already know this person, and at that point you have to just pray
it’s someone you like.
I’m lucky enough to live in the Horse Capital of Canada, yep
a small-ish, rural-ish city full of rich people with oil money. It just screams
“buy your kid a horse” which honestly if you can afford it and your kid is
passionate about it, you should. Horses teach all sorts of amazing life lessons
but that is another blog post for another time. However, this pretty much leads
to horse people ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE.
And I don’t know about you but - “Man, the price of hay
these days, Am I right?” - Isn’t my idea
of a good time or good conversation for that matter.
In conclusion I just want to point out that world of horses
is a wide and wonderful place. Racing, Barrel Racing, Cutting, Roping, Reining,
Penning, Dressage, Jumping, Cross Country, Halter, English Pleasure,
Saddleseat, Native Costume, 5-Gaited, 3-Gaited, Hunter Pleasure, Western
Pleasure, Equitation, Trail, Endurance riding, Pleasure riding, Driving, and
ALL THE DISCIPLINES I missed. If you’re into horses there is something in there
for you. However having a horse doesn’t give a person endless topic
conversations to have with another horse owner.
And even if it does and we start talking about farriers or what we think
about natural horsemanship, any NHP bystanders will likely be bored out of
their skulls.
So please, just stop. Together we can put an end to the
awkward small talk.
Disclaimer: I have MANY friends who own horses of different
breeds, or participate in other disciplines, and I love them. But I can
guarantee you I love them for who they are as people and not because they have
horses.
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