Curiousity made the cat a more well rounded individual

“Curiosity killed the cat,” We’ve all heard it. We’ve all probably said it at one point. Let me make this clear – I hate that saying. – Don’t get me wrong I’ve sat and watched my kitten make some relatively unsound choices in the name of curiosity – but who hasn’t? 

Why would you not want to foster curiosity in a person or child? 

Curiosity is an amazing force, and I for one am proud to be a curious person.

Ask anyone of my closest friends and they might at any point tell you something along the lines of “Caitlin knows a ton of weird facts,” or “Caitlin is the person I go to when I have a question about something I don’t want to ask other people.”

I might slightly pride myself a bit on these two things, because it’s true. My brain is an encyclopaedia of bizarre and obscure knowledge. I love being able to help my friends, or just to drop fun little facts here and there.

And here’s why….

I am curious as fuck. I love learning new things, weird facts, stuff that might not be common knowledge. If I hear someone talk about something I’ve never heard before – you better believe I’m sitting there googling it or making a mental note to google it later. I would 100% be surprised if I wasn’t on some sort of watch list for the weird stuff I’ve searched for over the years (although I sincerely hope I’m not). 

When I’m not googling something, I’m listening to podcasts, or watching documentaries, or weird youtube videos. Heck I’ve fallen down serious Wikipedia rabbit holes about pretty much every major royal family. 

Now I really hope I’m not shattering anyone’s image of an “all-knowing being” that is me, but honestly people – where did you THINK I learned this stuff. 

My point is this – knowledge is power, and while there’s some stuff I CHOOSE to be ignorant about. It never hurts to do your research, not to be the type of person who needs to correct people, but to just understand – for myself. No one likes that person who needs to correct people ALL THE TIME (did you understand what I meant? Then don’t be an asshole!)

I love people who are constantly learning and seeking new information like a sponge. Curiosity is what drives this for me, and I’m sure for others too. I like knowing “Why?” and “How come?” and in the world where the internet is at our fingertips, there’s no reason not to know. 

Here’s to being forever curious – and to also hoping my kitten makes good choices and stays alive.

Arthur making.... interesting choices

Believing in Something More...

Okay so this is where I may lose a few people, but honestly I don't much care. If you want to stop reading this now go ahead since it's my blog and I do what I want.

So pretty much for as long as I can remember I've loved anything paranormal/ghosty/spooky etc. Now I say that with the caveat that I am ALSO a huge chicken who likes her sleep so anything TOO freaky and I'm done and can't handle it. Like I want to watch all the paranormal ghost shows but the minute it gets too instense I need to watch a Disney movie to calm down.

Where am I going with this? Well, it's all about beliefs. Now I'm a logical level headed person who has a wildly creative imagination and can't just believe that what you see is what you get. I WANT to believe in ghosts and something beyond, because otherwise I find that just wholly depressing that you die and you're strictly worm food. Granted I choose only to believe in the Casper the friendly ghost-types. Malevolent spirits you can go hang somewhere else.

If something falls off a shelf suddenly, or happens unexpectedly I'm flippantly like oh we have a ghost. I am very sensitive to catching things out of the corner of my eye to find nothing there - although half the time it winds up being a chunk of mascara in my lashes or sometimes a piece of glitter.

After Dad died this really intensified my need for there to be more after death. After all where does all the vibrant energy and love a person like that go? Energy cannot be created nor destroyed, so it had to go somewhere right? (if you have a scientific answer for this you can just keep your mouth shut - no one likes a Debby Downer) 

I don't subscribe to organized religion, I'm certainly not opposed to people who do, I love the idea of finding something and putting all your soul into believing it - whatever that thing may be. Good for you people. However, I did grow up saying prayers at night (which in hindsight seems a bit weird considering how non-religious my family was, I'm gonna blame it on weird residual rituals from my parent's own childhoods)

After Dad died, there are a lot of seeming normal yet slightly off things that happen which may be purely coincidence, but honestly it's just most comforting to think of it as signs Dad's sending me, letting me know he's out there and watching me, gently still giving me guidance or letting me know I'm on the right path. It's really only something I share with a very small select group of people, although I guess that is out the window now, whatever.

Okay so this brings me to this morning, when I get a text from my coach/friend/hetro-soulmate Jacquie who was also very close to Dad, and is one of the people I have no problem sharing my weird thoughts with.

She sent me a text saying she was sitting in the Walmart parking lot - waiting for it to open, going through her phone and cleaning out old pictures. She had recently been listening to a book where they talked about orbs of lights in photos being people who have died coming back to be present or show love to the lives of their survivors. When she came across a series of photos from the day she brought Charlie/Splash to Tamrac. 

Now having been a purveyor of many ghost hunting shows I know orbs are a big thing, yes it can be chalked up to dust, or a dirty lens, or light flare. But isn't it more fun to think about what else it might be?

She sent me a few of the pictures, but I think now we both know why this ginger horse has managed to worm his way into my cold dark heart so quickly. I like to believe in the magic of this. 

Charlie is at the top of the hill.

The Neverending Quest to Find your Tribe.

"You can't be your best self until you find your tribe. I'm still looking for mine" 

- Lily Rabe as Misty Day

I've been talking about this a lot lately with several different people, so I have a feeling it's a pretty universal struggle. Lately as I've really amped up my quest for self-improvement or self-enlightenment or whatever the flip you want to call it, I've become really aware of the importance of "finding your tribe" 

Now let me define my use of "tribe" here for you, so we're all on the same page.

Tribe: A group of people who loves and supports you and your dreams, and will do anything in their power to help you achieve said dreams.

I am a firm believer that the people you surround yourself with greatly impact your life and daily well being. I think everyone knows what its like to have a friend/coworker/acquaintance who is just constantly negative. I know for me personally being around constant negativity is just a recipe for disaster because it takes almost no time at all and suddenly I'm feeling glum and negative for LEGITIMATELY no reason. Granted I've gotten a bit better throughout the years of limiting my exposure to these kind of people for prolonged periods of time.

When you surround yourself with people who you can openly and passionately discuss anything with - whether its anything from your hopes and dreams, to that really great episode of Toddlers and Tiaras you watched yesterday - and it's met with excitement and just a straight up supportive and open heart. It's amazing what can come from that.

I grew up as a teenager feeling very alone and like a misfit. I retreated into black baggy clothes and "punk" rock - and found myself just despising all the bright and shiny kids at school. Now looking back in reality - things weren't as they seemed. I had amazingly supportive parents (even though that was back when I would butt heads with my Dad on a pretty regular basis - he just didn't UNDERSTAND ME... I hope you can hear how hard I'm rolling my eyes here. In hindsight I was just being dramatic - which is something that is unlikely to change from my personality). But what I truly lacked in this stage of my life was a really close knit group of friends. 

Sure I had friends and I'm still close with a few of them now. Honestly though they were school friends, and the majority of them were out of necessity. The "I need a friend in this class otherwise the semester/year will be awful" type of friendship, with no real substance to it aside from in class chit chat.

I think it's funny because the majority of men I know have had the same best friends since they can remember. Cradle to the grave, from birth to earth, etc. I truly believe that women are not like this. I personally am constantly adjusting my group of friends. Distancing myself from those who are unsupportive, or who don't believe in me and my dreams. And feeding the relationships that enrich my life on such a deep level.

There's a poem I found once - heck let me insert it here for you 

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed or just felt. They have come to assist you through a hard time, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. Then, suddenly, the person disappears from your life. Your need has been met; their work is done.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share or grow or give back. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They give you great joy. Believe it; it is real. But only for a season.
Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons—things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all your other relationships.
Think about the people in your life over the years. Whether they were there for a reason, a season or a lifetime, accept them and treasure them for however long they were meant to be part of your life.
And when they are gone, be thankful for the gifts you received from them when they were here—for a reason, a season or a lifetime. 

I've done my best to try to keep this in my mind as I've had to either let go of people, or just accept that a friendship had run its course.

I'm very grateful for all the people who have come through my life at one point or another because every single one of them has helped shape me into the person I am today.

I'm getting a little off of my point which is par for the course.

I like to call my tribe my "Coven" mostly because I think it's funny and fitting for me as a person. My tribe is full of people who I hold near and dear to my heart. They know who they are, the people I can confide in, the ones who are unwaveringly supportive, who will smile and tell me I'm crazy but follow that with "whatever makes you happy", non-judgmental in all the ways that count (unless I eat a whole pie in one sitting - then I'm judging myself too). 
My tribe is full of people who come from different locations and backgrounds, they don't all know each other, and come from many different compartments of my life. 

I can really only hope for everyone reading this that you have found your tribe, or that you are actively seeking it - because let me tell you, there is nothing quite like the feeling of when a very special group of feeling has your back. 

This one goes out to my tribe.

To all members past, present, and future.

Without each and every single one of you who knows where I would be right now.